Tons of Ninja in an Indestrucitble White Room!
by Tsu-Ze Haitsuchi
Summary: Warning! Crack Fic! Truth or Dare! If you have no sense of humor, aviod this fic at all costs! Go to your emo corner and grow mushrooms!


All: Hey everybody! *three hyper girls wave spastically to an audience of confused readers*

Chaos: We're having a sleepover!

Boobear: And we're all Naruto fangirls,

Sparks: So, obviously, we decided to poke some good fun at the characters in this truth or dare fic!

Chaos: After a box of oreos,

Boobear: a half a galleon of ice cream,

Sparks: and a ton of soda,

Chaos:…this is what we come up with!

Boobear: And because these knuckle heads can't agree on couples –

Sparks: Even though mine are obviously superior!

Chaos: Not true!

Boobear: …anyway, there are no serious couples going on here. None.

All: Enjoy! Flame and die! Get your knickers in a knot because of something else, and we'll set Chaos on you!

*Chaos grins and waves chainsaw*

All: Also, we don't own Naruto *three girls sob mournfully* Otherwise, Deidara wouldn't have died.

* * *

One peaceful day in Konoha, all our favorite shinobi are strolling around, minding their own business, when all of the sudden, three outlandishly dressed strangers come sprinting through town. Everyone stops and stares, but the three girls take no notice, and charge straight to the top of Hokage mountain, where they stop for a moment.

The shortest girl puts her hands on her hips and starts being bossy.

"All right girls, we're here on a serious mission! Chaos, Boobear! Go be rabid fangirls and capture all of our idols!"

The tallest one, standing directly behind the shortest, rubs her eyes grumpily.

"Shut up, Sparks. This is Konoha, which means no Gaara *insert fangirl sigh,* and it's way early in the morning."

Sparks scowls.

"Chaos, I swear, you're hopeless."

The medium-sized, sarcastic looking one sighs, and whips a chocolate muffin out of nowhere. She turns to Sparks.

"Desperate times call for desperate measures."

Sparks sighed and facepalmed.

"Do what you must, Boobear."

Boobear promptly shoved the sugar bomb down sleepy Chaos's throat. Her hair began to float upward, her blue eyes began to glow with a crazy light, and she started foaming at the mouth.

"SABAKU NO GAARA!" Chaos sped off the mountain faster than Rock Lee could ever dream of running, "I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!"

Sparks and Boobear smirked.

"Don't forget the others!" Sparks called cheerily.

"Try to bring him back in one piece," commented Boobear dryly.

Sparks now turned to Boobear.

"Okay, you my dear creeper, are going to go revive the dead. Up the job, Boobear?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"M'k, I'll take on the rest of Konoha."

Boobear disappeared in a puff of black and creepy smoke, while Sparks sped off towards her waiting victims.

* * *

"Hey Boobear, I see you've finally showed up," says Sparks, a pile of unconscious bodies lies behind her.

Boobear nods, her own pile of unconscious bodies sprawled in a wagon.

"Where's Chaos?"

"She should be here soon."

As if on cue, Chaos bursts through the doors, carrying a drooling Gaara, who looked to be glomped within an inch of his life. Yet another wagon full of unconscious bodies is behind her.

Chaos drops Gaara to the floor and begins to fangirl-ish-ly fawn over his mangled body, his sand trying in vain to protect him from her love. Chaos looks up momentarily, a huge grin on her face.

"Best. Day. Of. My. Life."

Sparks raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, good for you."

Boobear shakes her head slowly in amazement.

"Why am I friends with you weirdos?"

Chaos's grin widens.

"Cuz you love us!"

Boobear takes a small step backwards. Sparks sweat drops.

"Back to work."

"Let's get this party started!" cheered Chaos, Gaara's poor body abandoned for the time being.

* * *

Groggily, the majority of the unconscious bodies that had been dragged in begin to stir. Kakashi was the first standing, and his one visible eye widened as he shakily surveyed the swarms of people around him.

"I…I don't understand…" he mumbles, his head ringing from being knocked out, "I've got to try to remember…"

*Flashback*

_Kakashi was perched on a fence, reading his book. He heard a slight movement beside him. Reluctantly, he dragged his gaze away from the beautiful pages to find a short, teenage girl wearing loose, black pants and red tank top perched in exactly the same position as he._

"_Oh my gosh! Hey Kakashi-sensei, you're so cool!" The girl's smiling face suddenly melted into a frown directed at his book. "Even if you're kinda of perv…"_

_Before Kakashi could respond to such a statement, the girl smiled cheerily again, whipped a frying pan out of nowhere and promptly whacked him on the head. Kakashi crumpled face first to the ground, his orange book flying out of his hands as the world fades to black._

*End Flashback*

Kakashi rubs his wounded head, half wishing he didn't remember.

Konkuro wobbles to his feet. Next to him, lays Gaara, covered in bruises and scratches, his red hair totally messed up. The young Kazakage is whimpering with fear and his sand is swirling protectively around him.

"No…save me…please no…" he moans, eyes closed tight in terror.

Konkuro raises an eyebrow and their sister kneels down beside him.

"Gaara…"

Said redhead jumps at the sound of his name so close to him.

"AHH! NO, I BEG OF YOU, HAVE MERCY!"

Just at that moment, Ino lets out a blood curdling scream. All blurry eyes whip towards the girl, who is pointing shakily at Asuma, who looks shocked as well.

"EEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The rest of Konoha joins with Ino's screaming.

"SILENCE!" screech three piercing female voices.

Dead silence fills the room.

Again, all eyes are averted to a single place, where three girls stand, arms folded across their chests. The tallest breaks her mask of anger momentarily to give Gaara a little wave. The Kazakage shrieks in fear and flings himself behind his older siblings, shaking in terror. All eyebrows are raised. Then, all at once, everyone begins to scream in a deafening roar, scrambling to get as far away from the girls as the walls allow.

Sharingans are activated, Bykugains turn on, Chidoris are fired up, Shadow clones appear, sand is everywhere, puppets are out of control, until once again, the three girls silence all with their shill screams for order.

The gigantic swarm of ninjas blink.

The short one steps forward.

"Okay, listen up. Yes, I know we are the ones who single handedly knocked you out and captured you, but we're here to make a deal – Chaos, hands off Gaara – Anywho, as you've obviously noticed, we have gathered dead, evil, and main characters alike and you are now trapped in an indestructible room with only one way to get out: cooperation. We don't want much. We simply want each of you to drink a glass of a concoction we have made. No, it will not kill you – erm, unless you're already dead. Whatever. Just so you know, you can batter at these walls all you like, you won't escape – Chaos, what did I say? – To prove our kind intentions, we'll drink a potion first. Ya'll can beat up this indestructible room as much as you like until you choose to take the wisest course and drink. So, we're off."

Each girl grabbed a glass of clear liquid off a long table, clinked them together, and chugged it. But before the tall one finished off hers, she turned and winked at Gaara.

"See ya!"

Gaara whimpered.

And with that, a mysterious wind blew and the girls vanished in swift, eroding process, grins still plastered to their excited faces.

Once again, everyone blinked. Then, total destruction reigned. Every type of attack known to ninja-kind was taken out on the bland, white walls. After ten minutes of pure raw force, natural talent, brilliant genius, evil plots, and kekkai genkai being hurled at their barriers, everyone had stopped, except for the village idiot and the series main character.

Neji rolls his lavender eyes.

"Naruto, enough."

Naruto gives the wall one last Rasengan, throws Neji a dirty look, before slumping to the ground, grumbling.

Shikamaru frowns, concentrating.

"Everything they've said is true so far…they knocked us out, and they drank the potions…and all of us combined couldn't make a scratch on the walls…I guess we'll have to trust them and drink."

Havoc ensues as all the characters tried to voice their opinions.

As the bedlam reigned, a single figure rose and walked to the table, picking up a glass, and staring at it. Then, in a booming voice, Pein calls to his companions.

"Akatsuki! It is clear our only way to escape it to drink. I command you to."

Silence filled the room. (A.N. Boobear: It seems to do that a lot, huh?)

Slowly, the assorted Akatsuki rise and follow their leader to the table, some grumbling under their breath more than others. *cough cough HIDAN cough cough*

In unison, the Akatski lift the glasses to their lips and cautiously gulp the entire contents of each glass. And, in the same way the girls had disappeared, they eroded in a mysterious wind.

*Total and complete confusion and uncertainty censored*

* * *

Gasping for breath and on their hands and knees, the Akatsuki rematerialize in another pure white room. While still staring at the ground, choking on air, a heart-felt sob tears through the silence.

"NOOO!"

"Haha, sucker, pay up!"

"Gaara-kun! Return to MEEEEE!"

"Dude, you lost the bet, pay me. Now."

"GAAAARRRRRRAAAAA!"

Confused, Sasori lifts his head to see the tall girl also on her hands and knees, sobbing her heart out, while the other two smirk, leaning against a wall. The one that had come and dragged Sasori out of death chuckled.

"You were fool enough to think Gaara would be the first to get here, but he's obviously not here first. Give. Me. My. Money."

The bossy one poked the winner of the bet.

"Hey, we're still on for our bet too. Naruto is sooo coming after the rest of original Team 7."

"Yeah, I know what you said."

Weakly, Konan stumbled upward.

"Wah? Why are we in another white room? What was with the drinking?"

Finally, their captors turned their attention to the Akatsuki, who were clawing their way to their feet.

"Oh. Well, to put it quite frankly, this will be your last test before we release you back to your world. You already passed the first one, drinking the truth serum/teleporting potion. Now, we just have to wait for the rest to get here before you can pass your final test and be released," says the bossy one, while the sobbing one passes the winner a twenty dollar bill.

…

"You guys are insane, un."

"We know. Don't waste your breath telling us."

* * *

Sparks: First chapter, un!

Chaos: Yay!

Boobear: …weirdos.

All: We'll start our next chapter right away!


End file.
